Keeping your relationship with your spouse thriving can be a difficult task. While we don’t like to associate marriage with work, the truth of the matter is that many experts and successfully married people insist that it is work that combines love, determination, patience, compromise, and the ability to forgive. Unfortunately and too often in this society, marriages fall apart due to various reasons. The divorce rate in the U.S. ranges between 41 to 50 percent which gives you a 50-50 chance of succeeding.
Deciding to end your marriage is a huge decision that can have a dramatic impact on your life, your children’s lives, and even the lives of your extended family. Such a decision can be put off due to such considerations as fear of being alone, fear of what your family or others will think, and a reluctance to hurt your partner. These considerations can leave you in a state of limbo wondering if your marriage really is over and whether you should do something about it. In this blog, we will look at some basic factors that you can use to help you decide whether the best path forward is one that will lead to a divorce or a way back to rebuild a failing relationship.
Contemplating divorce? Need advice? Call Hanson, Gorian, Bradford & Hanich at (951) 506-6654 to schedule a free, initial consultation about your situation with a Riverside County attorney.
What To Look At to Help You Decide
Probably the first thing to do is take an honest look at are your feelings of dissatisfaction. If you really are unhappy with your marriage, that needs to be acknowledged. That would be the first indicator that something has gone awry. Without acknowledging the fact that you are unhappy with the relationship, nothing will change or it will continue to deteriorate.
The signals that indicate your marriage is over can include:
- You have frequent thoughts of leaving. This goes as far as planning to leave and resolving to do so without ever taking that step. But these constant thoughts indicate that you and your spouse no longer share a team mindset.
- Real communication between you and your spouse has declined. The openness you once shared at the beginning of your relationship no longer acts as the glue that keeps you moving forward together and acting as a team.
- Just being around your spouse causes stress, annoyance, disappointment, or nervousness. These reactions occur regularly.
- You and your spouse rarely have sex. This also includes that, when do have sex, your heart just is not in it – perhaps you even fantasize being with someone else. Intimacy is essential in a good marriage building trust, decreasing stress, and making each partner feel wanted and appreciated.
- You and your spouse fight constantly. These arguments are often about money, sex, the kids, each side taking responsibility for various aspects of the marriage or household, and other matters. Regardless of the basic issue beneath the surface, constant infighting is an indicator that something is very wrong.
- You and your spouse are no longer friends. While it may seem at first that love and marriage is based on sexual chemistry, it is well-known that successfully married spouses understand that enduring friendship lays at the heart of the relationship.
- Either you or your spouse has cheated. This is such a huge blow to the basic foundation of trust between marriage partners that it is sometimes impossible to overcome.
Examining the above factors can help you determine if counseling or divorce is the next step in handling the above challenges.
In the event that you have analyzed the situation to the best of your ability and decide divorce is the path you should take, you will need to fully understand the process and how it applies to your situation. At such a point, you can rely on the compassion and knowledge you will find at Hanson, Gorian, Bradford & Hanich. Having handling thousands of family law cases and with a Certified Family Law Specialist onboard, we are confident that we can successfully guide you through the process.
Ready to discuss your case with an experienced divorce lawyer? Call us at (951) 506-6654 today.